Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Alpha Mommy Freaking Madness

Alpha Moms of the world unite. You now have your very own cable channel where you can (s)mother until your eyes roll into the backs of your heads. Alpha Mom TV is all about (s)mothering. As if it weren't already a 24/7 job. Why does this make me angry? Why doesn't it make me feel like I finally have found a place where I belong? Because this is just another example of the Cult of the New Momism. The smart-ass attitude in the book The Mommy Myth sums it up nicely (I blogged about this in February). To quote The Mommy Myth:

"We are urged to be fun-loving, spontaneous, and relaxed, yet, at the same time, scared out of our minds that our kids could be killed at any moment. No wonder 81 percent of women in a recent poll said it's harder to be a mother now than it was twenty or thirty years ago, and 56 percent felt mothers were doing a worse job today than mothers back then. Even mothers who deliberately avoid TV and magazines, or who pride themselves on seeing through them, have trouble escaping the standards of perfection, and the sense of threat, that the media ceaselessly atomize into the air we breathe. . . like increasing numbers of women, we are fed up with the myth -- shamelessly hawked by the media -- that motherhood is eternally fulfulling and rewarding, that it is always the best and most important thing you do, that there is only a narrowly prescribed way to do it right, and that if you don't love each and every second of it there's something really wrong with you. . .

"This book is about the rise in the media of what we are calling the 'new momism:' the insistence that no woman is truly complete or fulfulled unless she has kids, that women remain the best primary caretakers of children, and that to be a remotely decent mother, a woman has to devote her entire physical, psychological, emotional, and intellectual being, 24/7, to her children. The new momism is a highly romanticized and yet demanding view of motherhood in which the standards for success are impossible to meet."


So, now, you can't just be a "Stay-At-Home Mom" or a "Working Mother," you must also be an ALPHA MOM. This conjures up images of a tigress defending her young or some such nonsense.

Alpha Mom TV says that you must "understand the meanings and functions of crying" in your infant, you must "be in sync with your child in order to develop effective discipline techniques," on long car trips you must "ensure that traveling with children will be an enjoyable experience for the entire family," and you must become a "parent doctor," effectively diagnosing your child's ADHD. (Except that it's OK if the "parent doctor" turns out to be Dad and not Mom, judging by the lone photo on the entire Alpha Mom site with a Dad and his kids.) Let's not even talk about the $35 sleeper oufits in the Alpha Mom TV Boutique. Pul-leeze.

Where's the Alpha Dad TV? Or better yet, where's the Alpha Parent TV? Or better yet, where's Smart Ass Parent TV?

UPDATE: The New York Times Magazine published an article on Alpha Mom TV founder Isabel Kallman, who gave up her 100-hour-a-week senior-vice-president position at Salomon Smith Barney to raise her son (and then launched a probably 100-hour-a-week job as a TV channel CEO). But it really burns my butter when she says that raising her high-energy son was a harder job than the SVP job. So, let's say this is true. Why aren't we paying our childcare workers the same, or more, than SVPs make? Money quote by the director of admissions to The Sunshine Kids' Club, where Kallman's son takes music lessons (he's two, BTW):

"They put more energy into it [parenting] than my generation. Like what’s the best stroller, the best nursery school, the best classes—all of it. It’s not like everyone doesn’t want the best for their child, but to me, it seems people these days have a more professional attitude toward raising their children. A lot of it is very intellectually thought-out and very scheduled, almost like they have a business plan for their children.” (Emphasis mine).


A business plan? Ug. It's never enough, is it? Kallman seems to me to be a highly-intelligent, motivated woman who cares about her family and wants to help other women. She's putting a lot of effort into this project. Why aren't we putting the same amount of effort into raising the quality of childcare? Kallman has a nanny (there's a photo of them together in the NYT Magazine article). She's got the income, education and clout to start up a new TV channel. What could she achieve if she devoted herself to raising the quality of daycare nationwide, which could potentially help a lot more families? I doubt she ever will -- what with having a nanny, a night nurse, a babysitter and an Alpha Mom TV intern -- group daycare isn't an issue that's anywhere near her radar.

Fire Branding

Reis BookI've been posting mostly on my writing gig these days, but my day job is actually as a web site designer. Recently I've been boning up a lot on branding issues as the main site I work on is about to embark on an architectural and design overhaul. After signing up for a workshop with branding guru Laura Ries, I came across her blog. Here's also a nice overview artcle from LogoLounge.com on the scope of branding issues.

Before I head over to Amazon to buy my copy of Ries' The 22 Immutable Laws of Branding, here's a shameless plug for my own design portfolio. I think after all this talk of branding I need to overhaul my own brand. Ouch!

Monday, August 22, 2005

Ready for action now, danger boy?

Aeon fireThe movie version of Aeon Flux is coming out in December and Charlize Theron is playing Aeon. Can't wait! Watching the trailer made me realize how much Aeron influenced the creation of my main character in Bloodstar. Theron's line at the end of the trailer sums up my main character in many ways: "I used to have a life. Now I have a mission."

Click here to read some memorable quotes from the 1991 MTV cartoon.

Friday, August 19, 2005

The Heroine with a Thousand Faces

An interesting read for any writer examining myths and folk tales:

Evolutionary Psychology 3: 85-103
The Heroine with a Thousand Faces: Universal Trends in the Characterization of Female Folk Tale Protagonists

Jonathan Gottschall, First Year Program, c/o English Department, St Lawrence University, Canton, NY 13617, USA.
with fifteen St. Lawrence University undergraduate students: Rachel Berkey, Mitch Cawson, Carly Drown, Matthew Fleischner, Melissa Glotzbecker, Kimberly Kernan, Tyler Magnan, Kate Muse, Celeste Ogburn, Stephen Patterson, Christopher Skeels, Stephanie St. Joseph, Shawna Weeks, Alison Welsh, Erin Welch.

Abstract: Literary scholars and psychologists have long remarked striking similarities in the depiction of male heroes in the world's folk tale traditions. The best-known attempt to document and explain these similarities is Joseph Campbell's The Hero with a Thousand Faces (1936). Campbell's work differs in detail from other prominent attempts to define universal features of heroes, however its grand thesis is much the same: while the details of heroes "faces" may change as the investigator crosses geographical, ethnic, cultural and chronological borders, certain details of the hero's life and challenges are everywhere the same. However, in contrast to the many determined efforts to generalize about heroes, scholars have expended little effort generalizing about cross-cultural features of heroines. The present article, based on a quantitative content analysis of folk tales from 48 culture areas around the world, represents the first systematic attempt to identify and explain cross-cultural trends in the characterization of heroines. This study was designed to improve substantially on previous attempts to define literary universals by drawing upon theory and methods used by human scientists to fruitfully explore and explain human universals.

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Cows Don't Care Who Your Daddy Is

I don't watch much reality TV. Truth to tell, like a lot of people, I think it's incredibly stupid. But I just caught a few minutes of a show that tops all the others I've seen and/or heard about. It's E!'s "Filthy Rich: Cattle Drive." What strikes me beyond the obvious "fish out of water" concept so prevalent in other reality TV shows like "The Simple Life," is that how the theory of Maslow's Heirarchy of Needs is so obviously displayed in these shows. Here are people, often from second or more generation extremely wealthy families, who obviously have only had the two most basic need levels met (if that): Physiological and Safety. Their extreme wealth hasn't enabled them to meet higher needs. Part of that may be age-related, but most of it is a skewed view of reality due to living in an echelon of class that is separated from most of society, and an obvious lack of the fulfillment of Love, Esteem, and Self-Actualization needs being met in these so very wealthy families.

Aside from being really bored with these people who fret over having to sleep on a cot or use an out-house, I feel sad for them. They're really screaming for someone to pay attention to them and to make them feel important. Obviously having the world cater them because of their wealth just isn't enough. The need for 15 minutes of fame isn't mitigated by wealth.

That latter part may seem really petty, but the more I watch these shows -- the more I watch others of these kinds of shows to see how the uber-rich and celebrities are catered to -- the less I feel bad about being petty. These are people who are invited to events where they're given huge amounts of merchandise that cost more than some countries' Gross National Product. I'm no Communist, but these people could pay off the national debt or end poverty in some nations, and still live a very comfortable life. How do you live with yourself knowing you could bring that kind of relief to other people and aren't doing it? Celebrities who become spokespersons for global social programs are just practicing good PR.

OK, back to writing now. I promise.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Finally, one just has to shut up, sit down, and write.

Mancusi fire
Italian sculptor Giancarlo Neri constructed this monument called The Writer, a 30-foot structure that overlooks Parliament Fields in Hampstead Heath. In a time when writing involves word processors, online critique groups and other technology that separates the writer from the page, this monument reminds us that writing is a solitary process and not a communal one (that is, until the story is finished, at least). You don't need a computer or an AlphaSmart or a critique group. But you do need to sit your dupa in a chair and get the story out of your head. I think it also depicts how a writer's nature is to see the big picture -- to stand outside of society and observe it in order to be able to write about it. Read more about this monument at Augustine's Blog. See more photos at the Rollo Contemporary Art web site.

Quote: Natalie Goldberg

Monday, August 15, 2005

A Synopsis is a cold thing.

SeraphimBeen working for over a week to rewrite my synopsis for River of Stars -- now renamed Blooooooodstar. (You must say this title just like Dark Helmet says "Looooonestar" in Spaceballs. . .) -- so that I get rejected again by two agents who have requested a partial of the manuscript. Yes, I'm feeling morose despite the fact that I'm actually liking the new version of this synosis.

I still hate squishing my 100K novel down to just a few pages and having to leave out so much good stuff. (OK, so I've been rejected several times -- maybe it's not-so-good-stuff).

To make this post even more of a rant I'm going to rail at all of the how-to-write-a-synopsis articles on the internet that basically say "paraphrase your novel, stupid" instead of actually providing examples. Good thing I belong to RWA's FF&P chapter, because several members have actually offered up samples to other members. I'm exceedingly jealous of Michele Hauf's writing skills in general, but specifically of her synopsis of Seraphim. It's a great novel and an even better synopsis. I wonder if I could pay her to write mine?

Oh, but, no, that would be bad, because "money flows to the writer" -- even if it takes you longer to write the damn synopsis than it did to write the damn novel. GRRR!

Signing off now to go spank this puppy of a synopsis if it's the last thing I do.

Quote: J. B. Priestley

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Water and fire both elements our ruin do conspire.

Mancusi fire
Just over a year ago my entire house flooded, so my heart goes out to Marianne Mancusi whose house burned to the ground when it was struck by lightening -- she was at the RWA Conference in Reno at the time. Luckily her dog survived since it was staying with a friend. Members of RWA, and anyone for that matter, are donating books and gift certificates to help rebuild Marianne's library and her life. You can read more about how to help Marianne at Barbara Ferrer's blog or through the Literary Chicks web site. Or, you could just purchase Mancusi's book A Connecticut Fashionista in King Arthur's Court and help her income that way. (Quote above is by John Cleveland.)

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Shining Bright at the Reno RWA Conference

Naked DukeI just returned from the Romance Writers of America National Conference in Reno, NV. As usual it was a great time, got to see my online buddies and learned a great deal at the workshops and publisher spotlights. I even managed to get a request for a partial by an agent. So, now I'm tidying up rewrites of my now newly-titled Bloodstar in order to submit it. Again. We'll see. I'll be dropping my letter in the mailbox with my eyes closed.

I also learned about author Linnea Sinclair whose science fiction romance novels are just coming out on Bantam Spectra.

Three of the best workshops were I've Got You Under My Skin: Deep POV by Virginia Kantra, Heroes to Die For by Julia Ross, What is Emotion by Suzanne McMinn

Strings Theory

I've moved my knitting posts to my new knitting-only blog: Strings Theory.